Motherhood makes me rich and keeps me poor | BabyCenter

People are talking, a lot, about the costs of raising children.

I honestly can?t get through all the detailed data in the articles because I am too busy saying, ?Yes, yes, yes.?

Yes I am worried, terrified actually, about my ability to afford my kids.

And, yes, financial considerations came in to play when deciding to have more than one child. As it turns out, financially speaking, that second child was the one that sent us sliding swiftly downward towards hand- to-mouth territory.

And, yes, I waited to have kids for career/financial reasons. Problem was, my career as a professional athlete wasn?t something that could continue, feasibly, beyond motherhood. So I was left, at age 34, to navigate finding a new career and starting a family all at the same time.

Financially speaking, I have failed, miserably. All I have to do is look at my social security annual reports to see the evidence: Motherhood has not had a beneficial impact on my income.

I have now used the expression ?financially speaking? twice, because, as you might guess, I have absolutely no regrets about having children. Mentally, spiritually, holistically speaking, I am the wealthiest woman in the world. My children, and my husband, are invaluable to me.

But that?s not what we are talking about right now. We?re talking about the realities of being a grownup, paying bills, maintaining a home, holding a job, and somehow managing to save a few dollars for the future. We?re also talking about, let?s face it, keeping up with the Jones?.

When people talk about the cost of children, the conversation often struggles to get past material expenses: What does a baby need? You can feed him from your boob, use reusable cloth diapers, plant a garden, they don?t need all those toys and gadgets, etc., etc.

But we have to think about the time expense of raising babies. The cost of childcare. The time not working. The loss of career clout. The loss of creative momentum. The loss of income.

Sure, if you, or your husband, have a fantastic, stable job you love when you start your family, and you plan ahead, and everything goes as planned, you can maintain buoyancy, but this isn?t always how it goes.

It definitely wasn?t the case with us. Granted, a lot of our situation is the result of choices. Choosing to live in a state where there is little-to-no industry, for instance.

And a lot of this has to do with temperament. I was so sure, before having kids, that I would be the ambitious breadwinner, determined to not let motherhood interfere with my ever upward career trajectory.
Then came baby. Then came the reality of handing baby over to care providers, pumping boobs, commuting, and hair loss. In the simplest terms, I could not hack traditional working motherhood. It felt all wrong to me. Whoops.

So I shifted my focus to figuring out how to make money from home, with a more flexible schedule, with less dragging of my babies out of bed and into cold cars at dawn. I have had some degree of success, but, financially speaking, there goes that word again, there is much, much room for improvement. And it often feels irresponsible.

The last time I earned an impressive salary and had plenty of cushion in my bank account was before I had children. On one hand, I say, to hell with all that. On the other, I?m counting pennies in hopes we can afford our next month?s bills. But I?m also counting my blessings, for I know my idea of poverty is another person?s idea of great wealth.

How about you? How has motherhood affected your standard of living? Are you worried, or secure? Do you feel comfortable admitting you are struggling financially?

Source: http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/742011motherhood-makes-me-rich-and-keeps-me-poor/

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